storytale

onceuponatimetherewasajackrabbitnamedjuniper.juniperlikedtoeat
allofthesmallerrabbtsandthusbecamesomewhatdegenerateinhisdaily
constitional.whilemostoftheotherlargerrabbitsignoredthisbehaviour
andchalkedituptohishavingaroughchildhood,thewoodsparrowsofthe
neighborhooddidnotlikeitonebit.theydecidedtoeathim.andsotheydid.
thesparrowswerethenattackedbymutantantelopesbearingmessages
fromthepeacefulhumanoidcavedwellerswhoateallwhodisobeyedthe
oneeyedpiratemermaidsteven.therebyedeclaringwaronallmamals
whogobythename"Phil".so,thephilswerepurgedfromtheranksofthe
kingdomandthepeopleswereonceagainfreetopracticepoloinanyform
theypleased.
happilyeverafter.
amen.